Tag Archives: comfort for dead

The Loss of a Loved One…and Comforting Words…

Sympathy Bible Verses for Funerals and Condolences | LoveToKnow

How do you deal with the death of a loved one?  Where does your comfort come from?  If you are an unbeliever of Jesus and the Bible, your comfort is likely to come from within yourself, earthly philosophies, prescribed medication, empathy from close friends and family, or self-medication (illegal drugs or alcohol). Your worldview is likely: you die, return to dust, and that is the end forever.  So the lifestyle motto is, “Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.” 1 Corinthians 15:32


However, if you are a follower of Christ and a student of the Bible, you will not “grieve as do others who have no hope.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13.  Did you know the Bible is extremely clear on where we are to find our comfort? In fact, regarding death, Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 4: 18 we are “to comfort one another with these words.” What words?  Words like: “They are in a better place.” “They are finally reunited with their spouse.”  “They are with Jesus and the angels now.” ”That they are in heaven hunting with their favorite dog.” 


No! Those words are not to be given as comfort and should never be used.  They are not Biblical!  These are words made up by the imagination only. They are false words of comfort.  As someone once said, “The Bible may make you uncomfortable with the truth, but it will never comfort you with lies.”
Here are the words from the Bible that tells the follower of Jesus how they are to obtain peace of mind and comfort for someone close who has died “in Christ”: 


“For the Lord, himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. WHEREFORE COMFORT ONE ANOTHER WITH THESE WORDS!”

Did you catch that?  Our comfort comes from knowing and believing two things:
1.) When the Lord returns (“descend(s) from heaven”), it will be a loud event (“Trumpet of God” and the “voice from the archangel”)

2.) When the Lord returns, there will be a lot of activity on earth, particularly at graveyards or wherever the followers of Christ were buried/cremated.  Those that “died in Christ” will be resurrected.  And if we are alive to escape death, we will all meet up in the air to meet Jesus and eternity will begin (“so shall we ever be with the Lord.”)
These are the words that are to bring comfort: not our imaginations or made up stories of the dead “looking down on us.” 
Over and over, God’s word points us to the return of Christ and the resurrection, not the death bed as the point where we meet Jesus.


Here is a well-known verse.  Jesus’ own words:  


“Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also”. John 14: 1-3


Please note:  Our comfort is in the fact that when He comes again, He will then receive us and we will go to “where He is now”. We will be there with Him! Where is Jesus now? He is with the Father! “…I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.”  John 20:17  


What joy!  Christ can resurrect a body that has turned to dust.  He will then breathe into the newly formed nostrils and create a living, immortal soul. Then the “dead in Christ” along with those alive in Christ will return with Him to the Father in heaven! Even Job understood this.  Listen to the hope of Job about his own death:


“\For I know that my Redeemer lives, And He shall stand at last on the earth; And after my skin is destroyed, this I know, That in my flesh I shall see God, Job 19: 25-26

Job had the confidence that his Redeemer lives and even though his skin will be destroyed, he will see God when He stands on the earth!  How clear is that? Does he see God at death? No!  When the Redeemer comes to the earth!


Daniel also understood the same thing!


“And many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, Some to everlasting life, Some to shame and everlasting contempt. Daniel 12:2


Did you know that the Bible never says we have an immortal soul?  But, we receive immortality when we are changed at Christ’s return.  Hear the words of Paul who wants to clear up the mystery about death:


“Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this Mortal must put on IMMORTALITY.So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this MORTAL shall have put on IMMORTALITY, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? 1 Corinthians 15: 51-55


When the Lord returns, some will not sleep (die). They are alive in Christ. Both the alive in Christ and those who “died in Christ,” will be “changed” immediately (“twinkling of an eye”) at the sound of “the last loud trumpet”.  It is then, and only then, that “the mortal will put on immortality.”  It is at the return of Christ we become immortal, not at death!


Note the last question in 1 Corinthians 15: 55.

Please read in the context. This rhetorical question cannot be asked until the Lord returns.

Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? 

I have heard it asked at funerals about the deceased without mention of the second coming.  To do so is to take it out of its beautiful context of Jesus’ return.


All of these clear passages plus many more are overruled and explained away by a few unclear and out of context verses like:“Absent from the body and present from the Lord.


How beautiful is God’s words about the death of those who die! “He gives His beloved, sleep.” Psalm 127:2  It is like a sweet, dreamless, unconscious sleep where a long time is reduced to a microsecond.  The Christian falls asleep like they would in surgery where the passage of time is not felt.  They awake to the sights and sounds of the return of Jesus with all the holy angels.  They come from the graves with new bodies and are made immortal.  The families of the earth are reunited in the air and then taken to heaven by Jesus and the multitude of angels. Jesus then takes us to where he is now…the home of the Father…New Jerusalem.


One day (after 1,000 years), the New Jerusalem comes back to earth with the redeemed.  God will make a new heaven and a new earth where righteousness dwells and where there is no more pain or death!  All tears will be wiped away!   Earth will be the home of the redeemed where we will enjoy the works of our hands by building houses and planting vineyards.  “From one Sabbath to another and from one new moon to another we shall come to worship.”

See: Revelation 21:2, 2 Peter 3:13, Revelation 21:4, Revelation 7:17, Isaiah 65:21, Isaiah 66:23.

These are the words that give me comfort! They are Biblical and make sense to those who know Jesus. God’s own words are much better than our imagination!

Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.

1 Corinthians 2:9

Why Jesus Compared Death to Sleep

Lazarus-A Friend of Jesus

 Our friend Lazarus sleeps, but I go that I may wake him up.”

Then His disciples said, “Lord,  if he sleeps he will get well.” However, Jesus spoke of his death, but they thought that He was speaking about taking rest in sleep.

 Then Jesus said to them plainly, “Lazarus is dead.  And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, that you may believe. Nevertheless, let us go to him.”

John 11: 11-15

The message had come to Jesus from Mary and Martha (the sisters of Lazarus)  of their brother’s sickness.

“Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick.”

John 11:3

But, did you catch that?  Jesus loves Lazarus and he called him friend! Doesn’t he love everyone?  Isn’t Jesus a friend to everyone? No doubt Jesus loves everyone, but how many can say they are friends of Jesus? Being a friend to Jesus is something we start as we are drawn by the Holy Spirit.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

James 4:8

This verse in James contains an important element in being close to God.  It means we choose to start the relationship by taking a step towards Him.  But God starts the process because He wants to be near us. So, He draws us with the Holy Spirit. But if we resist the pull of the Spirit we will go in an opposite direction. It is the elements of His nature of love and kindness (towards us individually) that we are drawn.

“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with loving kindness, I have drawn you.”

Jeremiah 31:3

Here is why Lazarus was special to Jesus. He made special effort to converse with Jesus in his own home!. Martha and Mary had similar close relationships with the Son of man.

Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.

John 11:5

This family of three siblings opened their home up to Jesus  who “ha(d) nowhere to lay his head.” Luke 9:58. 

“At the home of Lazarus, Jesus had often found rest. The Saviour had no home of His own; He was dependent on the hospitality of His friends and disciples, and often, when weary, thirsting for human fellowship, He had been glad to escape to this peaceful household, away from the suspicion and jealousy of the angry Pharisees. Here He found a sincere welcome and pure, holy friendship. Here He could speak with simplicity and perfect freedom, knowing that His words would be understood and treasured.”  Desire of Ages, Page 524

The disciples were aware of this special relationship and were surprised when Jesus remained where He was for two more days after hearing His friend was sick!  He had the power to heal Lazarus, but He allowed Lazarus to die.  There was a reason for this even though he told his disciples that his sickness was not “unto death.”

“This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”

John 11:4

It is important to note that when death is described in the Bible, there are two types of death.  One is the death that has passed upon all mankind because of sin.  Then there is the eternal death or perishing.  This we will see as we go along in our study.

Why would Jesus say the sickness was not unto death even though he died?  Think about this.  Jesus never attended a funeral where there were dead people.  Why?  Because he raised them! He raised Jarius’ daughter and was ridiculed for saying she was “sleeping.” Let’s read the story:

And behold, there came a man named Jairus, and he was a ruler of the synagogue. And he fell down at Jesus’ feet and begged Him to come to his house, for he had an only daughter about twelve years of age, and she was dying…

When He came into the house, He permitted no one to go in except Peter, James, and John, and the father and mother of the girl.  Now all wept and mourned for her; but He said, Do not weep; she is not dead but sleeping.”  And they ridiculed Him, knowing that she was dead.

But He put them all outside, took her by the hand and called, saying, “Little girl, arise.” Then her spirit returned, and she arose immediately. And He commanded that she be given something to eat. And her parents were astonished, but He charged them to tell no one what had happened.

Luke 8: 41, 42, 51-56

Then there was the time Jesus interrupted a funeral in progress!  The man was already in the casket!  Let’s read the story:

 Now it happened, the day after, that He went into a city called Nain; and many of His disciples went with Him, and a large crowd. And when He came near the gate of the city, behold, a dead man was being carried out, the only son of his mother; and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the city was with her. When the Lord saw her, He had compassion on her and said to her“Do not weep.” Then He came and touched the open coffin, and those who carried him stood still. And He said, “Young man, I say to you, arise.”  So he who was dead sat up and began to speak. And He presented him to his mother.

Then fear came upon all, and they glorified God, saying, “A great prophet has risen up among us”; and, “God has visited His people.” And this report about Him went throughout all Judea and all the surrounding region.

Luke 7:11-17

The man was not called friend, it is possible Jesus did not know Him personally and vice versa, but Jesus resurrected Him because of the compassion he had on the widow.  The same could possibly be said about the twelve-year-old daughter of Jairus.

From these three resurrections, we can glean similarities that tell us something about how Jesus brings comfort to the dead and the family.

First, Luke makes the point of saying her spirit returned to the little girl.  Even though not stated with Lazarus and the Son of the widow, their spirit also returned to them. It is the Spirit of God that gives life to the body.  We know this from the creation of Adam:

And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living being (soul).

Genesis 2:7 

At death, the opposite of Gen. 2: 7 occurs

Then the dust will return to the earth as it was,
And the spirit (breath) will return to God who gave it.

Ecclesiastes 12:7

In the cases of the three brought back to life, their breath (spirit) returned to them and they became a living being again. Even when the decay of the body had begun (Lazarus had been dead four days!

 “Lord, by this time there is a stench, for he has been dead four days.”

John 11: 39

Most important he tells something about the condition of the person who is dead.  They are sleeping an unconscious sleep!  This was confusing to the disciples, they thought Lazarus was resting and it would do him good.  To the mourners for the little girl, they didn’t understand and laughed at the Savior!  But, if they had believed Jesus, they would have found great comfort and understanding about the dead person.  They are not suffering nor were they enjoying the bliss of heaven.  Wouldn’t it have been very cruel to bring them all from the pure happiness of heaven? But there are no “out of body” experiences recorded for them.  Why? Because they were dead.

In Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians, he made sure that the people understood the same thing Jesus was expressing about a person who is dead.  He did not want them to be ignorant about it.

 But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope.  For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 4:13, 14

Here Paul is referring, like Jesus, to the dead as those who have fallen asleep.  Because of this fact, we find comfort and don’t sorrow as those who have no hope.  Notice that the comfort does not come from the thought of them being in heaven enjoying the company of the other saints!  No!  The comfort Paul gives is that they are asleep in Christ and they will be resurrected to life one day.

Next, Paul gives the clearest picture in the Bible regarding the second coming and the resurrection. It demonstrates the hope we should all have in the resurrection:

For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise firstThen we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the LordTherefore comfort one another with these words.

1 Thessalonians 4: 15-18

The description of Jesus coming and resurrecting those “asleep” in Christ and then meeting Jesus in the Lord cannot be any clearer. This is a wonderful thought that no one will precede the other in meeting and seeing Jesus.  That great day will be a great reunion day of those resurrected and those who will be alive!  It is these words that Paul tells us to comfort one another.

If those who died were already in heaven, this would have been the perfect time for Paul to talk like modern preachers and say a falsehood about those dead (asleep) as being in heaven enjoying eternal life.  But the comfort comes from knowing they are resting in peace and not aware of the passing of time, but will one day be resurrected and we can all be in heaven together at the same time!

Non-Biblical things I have heard at funerals:

  1. He/she is looking down on us now.
  2. They are talking with Jesus and the saints face to face.
  3. They are enjoying their favorite food
  4. His is finally back with his wife
  5. He is enjoying his favorite whiskey and hunting with his old dog, Blue.

These are not biblical and are well-intended efforts to comfort the bereaved.  But, the comfort comes from the fact that they are sleeping and not feeling any pain or anxiety, waiting for that great reunion day when Jesus returns.

For the living know that they will die; But the dead know nothing, And they have no more reward,

Ecclesiastes 9:5

His breath goes forth, he returns to his earth; in that very day his thoughts perish.

Psalm 146:4

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Let’s go back to the story of Lazarus to further understand about death and the importance of the resurrection.  Martha knew that she would see her brother again at the resurrection.  Her theology was correct, but she didn’t realize the power of Jesus who stood right there with her:

Now Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met Him, but Mary was sitting in the house.  Now Martha said to Jesus, “Lord if You had been here, my brother would not have died.  But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.”

Jesus said to her, Your brother will rise again.”

Martha said to Him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.

Jesus said to her, I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

John 11: 20-26

Martha knew about the resurrection in the last day and found comfort in seeing her brother then.  But she didn’t realize that the source for that resurrection was right there in front of her!

Though we die, we “shall live.” But why did Jesus say, “whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.”

The ultimate death is the second death where there is no hope.  It is those who are not part of the first resurrection:

Blessed and holy is he who has part in the first resurrection. Over such the second death has no power

Revelation 20:6

He who overcomes shall not be hurt by the second death.”’

Revelation 2:11

This second death can be found in the most popular verse in the Bible

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

What is the fate of those who do not believe?  They perish (this is the second death).  Even though all die the first death, the second death is final (perish).

So why did Jesus and Paul compare death to sleep?  It is because there is comfort knowing that those in Christ are in a temporary sleep where they will rise again.  The passing of time, even though it be 100 or 1,000 years will be like a split-second.  The next conscience action will be to hear the trumpet sound and see the Jesus coming in the clouds of heaven.  They will rise up to meet those who are alive when Jesus returns and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

Paul not only told the Thessalonians the truth about those who “have fallen asleep in Christ,” but he also told the Corinthians how important it is that we understand the power and hope in the resurrection.

 But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then Christ is not risen. And if Christ is not risen, then our preaching is empty and your faith is also empty….And if Christ is not risen, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins! Then also those who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. “

1 Corinthians 15 13-14, 17-18

Did you notice the word perished?  If Jesus were not resurrected, all those who have died are dead forever (perished)

Our entire hope for eternal life depends upon the fact that Jesus, as the first-fruits from the dead, was resurrected.  Because He died and was resurrected, we have the reality of being resurrected one day, even if our bodies have returned to dust!

Job (as described in the oldest book of the Bible) put his hope in seeing God in the last days as a result of the resurrection:

For I know that my Redeemer lives,
And He shall stand at last on the earth;
And after my skin is destroyed, this I know,
That in my flesh I shall see God,
Whom I shall see for myself,
And my eyes shall behold, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me!

Job 19:25-27

This describes perfectly Paul’s end to his discourse on the importance of the resurrection.  It is at this point where we receive our new bodies no longer subject to death…Like Job, I say, “How my heart yearns” for that day!

This is where I find my comfort…In the coming of Jesus after a split second sleep in Him! Then I will be changed at the last trumpet.

Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep (die), but we shall all be changed—  in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changedFor this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.”

“O Death, where is your sting?
O Hades, where is your victory?”

1 Corinthians 15: 51-54

The last part of this verse cannot be said, until Jesus returns and resurrects us.

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A personal experience.

I experienced what death must be like.  It happened when I had open-heart surgery.  They rolled me into the bright lights of the operating room and put a line into a vein for the anesthesia.  When they were ready to put me to sleep, the young nurse anesthetist said, “good night.”   The next moment I hear the nurse calling my name.  It was if the 2-hour surgery lasted less than a second before I heard my name called.

One day we will be called from our sleep to hear the voice of Jesus telling us to come forth.

Months after the surgery, I developed AFiB and was often awaken at night gasping for breath.  It bothered me greatly and I began to wonder if God would forget me when He came.  Like the thief on the cross, I said, “Lord remember me when you come into your kingdom.” 

Several sleepless nights passed and finally one night I slept the entire night, but I had a dream that put my mind at ease about God remembering me.  In this dream, I could see my funeral and the very next moment, I heard the joyful and playful voices of two angels pulling me up out of the earth.  In the distance, I could see the light of Jesus and all the holy angels even though it was still dark in the dirt around me.  Then I heard one of the angels say,

“See!  He didn’t forget you!”

Enjoy this Biblically correct song by Sandi Patti….This is our comfort

We Shall Behold Him